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TIMEPASS
A collection of goodies
40 # June 2015


ART OF LIVING
_____________________________

The most powerful force in life ... LOVE!

The greatest asset ... FAITH!

The most powerful channel of communication ... PRAYER!

The greatest joy... GIVING!

The worst thing to be without ... HOPE!



BANTER
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A while ago, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from
then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our
storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.

My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes
suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... .. .

We just call him 'TV.'
He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.'
Their first child is "Cell Phone".
Second child "I Pod".



COMPUTERS
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JAPAN'S JOYFUL ERROR MESSAGES

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Enjoy.......

Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

Your file was so big! It might be very useful. But, now it is gone.

Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.

Windows has crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.



HEALTH
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TEN FUNCTIONAL FOODS FOR OPTIMAL HEALTH

It is a challenge to keep up with diet trends and health studies. Here is a list of functional foods that keep all the parts of your body in optimal health.

According to various health and wellness sites there are certain foods you should eat often. They include:

Spinach
(promotes blood flow, keeps bones strong, healthy eyes)

Blueberries
(antioxidant, great for brain and wards off cancer, diabetes)
Alternatives: acai berries, purple grapes, prunes, raisins,
strawberries

Walnuts
(omega-3, helps libido and brain)
Alternatives: sesame seeds, pistachios, almonds, hazelnuts

Oats
(fibre helps the heart and digestive tract)
Alternatives: quinoa, flaxseed, wild rice

Apples
(Red apples keep your heart functioning well)

Eggs
(lutein keeps eyes fit plus iron-rich yolks, makes hair healthy and strong)

Black beans
(brain food, improves memory, function and power)
Alternatives: peas, fava, lima, pinto and kidney beans.

Yogurt
(probiotics help keep your belly flat and healthy)
Alternatives: Hard or semi-hard cheeses, kefir.

Carrots
(vitamin A, good for your skin)
Alternatives: sweet potato, pumpkin, butternut squash, yellow bell pepper, mango

Tomatoes
(rich in lycopene, helps avoid skin, bladder, lung cancers and heart disease)
Alternatives: Watermelon, pink grapefruit, persimmon, papaya, guava

If you're worried about getting bored with these limited options, try elevating your experience with fresh herbs and spices



QUOTES
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"To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity"
- Douglas Adams

"A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears."
- Michel de Montaigne

"An oak tree is just an acorn that stood its ground."
- Fred Shero - Coach of the Philadelphia Flyers, 1971-1978.

"To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing."
Fred Shero of the Flyers. He wrote this on the chalk board in the Flyers locker room!

"To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition."
- Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784



SMILE
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DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN-2

FUTURE
a.. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
b.. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
a.. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
b.. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
a.. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
b.. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
a.. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
b.. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
a.. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
b.. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
a.. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
b.. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



TIME
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1. Do the important tasks first. The other jobs will take care of themselves.

2. Focus on one task at a time. The quickest way to do many things is to do one thing at a time.

3. When something goes awry, don't dwell on your mistake. Rather, focus on a solution.

4. Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you'll have more time, and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, 'Is this necessary?'"
(Marcus Aurelius)

5. FOCUS ON TIME. Because time is the stuff life is made of, it deserves our careful scrutiny. Don't waste or kill it. Rather, heed
these two points made by Michael Leboeuf:
"Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life." and
"The ultimate goal of a more effective and efficient life is to provide you with enough time to enjoy some of it."



TRIVIA
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Here are some not so interesting 'factoids':

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye".

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable".

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

It's impossible to lick your elbow.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language... try it!

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.



WHY
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WHY DO KNUCKLES MAKE A CRACKING SOUND?

A click or a popping sound is often heard when a joint is moved or stretched. Actually, two separate and distinct sources are responsible for the familiar popping sound that our joints emit.

Joints are the meeting points of two separate bones, which are held together by connective tissues and ligaments called tendons. A thick clear lubricant called the synovial fluid cushions the joints. The fluid comprises mainly of carbon dioxide and nitrogen.
When you stretch or pull your fingers to get the desired popping sound, you actually pull the bones apart. Thereby reducing the pressure on the synovial fluid. This reduced pressure causes 'cavitation' (withdrawal of carbon dioxide and water vapour from the fluid). The low pressure collapses instantly and the fluid crashing in from all sides makes the noise.

It takes about 15 to 20 minutes for the carbon dioxide to redissolve. The cracking sound can't be reproduced unless and until
the synovial fluid reabsorbs the gas.



ZEN
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FRIENDS & BEST FRIENDS:

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on.

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink.
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home.

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff



AND FINALLY
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Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering dotor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I am treating. The others are all dead."


Cheers!


Dipak
Sarbadhikari
79/1 Raja Rammohan Sarani
Kolkata 700 009 India
-------------------------------------
E mail : deares@gmail.com
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