Sarbadhikari

ART OF LIVING
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EIGHT CLUES TO HAPPINESS
By- KHUSHWANT SINGH

Having lived a reasonably contented life, I was musing over what
a person should strive for to achieve happiness. I drew up a list of
a few essentials which I put forward for the readers' appraisal.

1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH.
If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy. Any
ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness.

2. Second, A HEALTHY BANK BALANCE.
It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for
creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like
eating out, going to the pictures, travelling or going on holidays
on the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only
demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and
lowers one in one's own eyes.

3. Third, A HOME OF YOUR OWN.
Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest
which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden
space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them
grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4. Fourth, AN UNDERSTANDING COMPANION,
be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many
misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is
better to be divorced than to bicker all the time.

5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than
you in life; risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame.
Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6. Sixth, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE
to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of
them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their
gossip-mongering.

7. Seventh, CULTIVATE SOME HOBBIES
which can bring you a sense of fulfilment, such as gardening,
reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to
clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is
criminal waste of time.

8. Eighth, EVERY MORNING AND EVENING, DEVOTE 15 MINUTES to
INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on
stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that
day. In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten
to go over what you had undertaken to do.

RICHNESS is not Earning More, Spending More Or Saving More, but ...
"RICHNESS IS WHEN YOU NEED NO MORE"

 

ZEN

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THE KEY to a healthy lifestyle is being able to control anxiety.

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ANGER Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intent
of throwing it at someone else; But you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

EIGHT GIFTS THAT DON'T COST A CENT Author Unknown

This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your
relationships.

The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't
daydream, don't plan your response. Just listen.

The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the
back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate
the love you have for family and friends.

The Gift of Laughter
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your
gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

The Gift of a Favor
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

The Gift of a Written Note
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or
"That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.
 

YESTERDAY, TODAY & TOMORROW

There are two days in very week that we should
not worry about. Two days that should be kept free from
fear and apprehension.

One is YESTERDAY, with its mistakes and cares, its
faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has
passed, forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase
a single word we've said. Yesterday is gone!

The other day we shouldn't worry about is TOMORROW
with its impossible adversaries, its burden, its hopeful promise
and poor performance.
Tomorrow is beyond our control. Tomorrow's sun will
rise either in splendor or behind a bank of clouds - but it will
rise. And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is
yet unborn.

This leaves only one day - TODAY. Any person can fight
the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens
of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it
is the remorse for something that happened yesterday, and the
dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore,
LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME.
 

MOVING THOUGHTS

      Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people
      before meeting the right one so that when we finally
      meet the right person, we will know how to be
      grateful for that gift.

      When the door of happiness closes, another opens,
      but often times we look so long at the closed door
      that we don't see the one which has been opened for
      us.

      The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
      porch and swing with, never say a word, and then
      walk away feeling like it was the best conversation
      you've ever had.

      It's true that we don't know what we've got until we
      lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what
      we've been missing until it arrives.

      Giving someone all your love is never an assurance
      that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in
      return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it
      doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a
      minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like
      someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a
      lifetime to forget someone.

      Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for
      wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who
      makes you smile because it takes only a smile to
      make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that
      makes your heart smile.

      There are moments in life when you miss someone
      so much that you just want to pick them from your
      dreams and hug them for real!

      Dream what you want to dream; go where you want
      to go; be what you want to be, because you have
      only one life and one chance to do all the things you
      want to do.

      May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
      enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to
      keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

      Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that
      it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

      The happiest of people don't necessarily have the
      best of everything; they just make the most of
      everything that comes along their way.

      Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt,
      those who have searched, and those who have tried,
      for only they can appreciate the importance of
      people who have touched their lives. Love begins
      with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
      The brightest future will always be based on a
      forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you
      let go of your past failures and heartaches.

      When you were born, you were crying and everyone
      around you was smiling. Live your life so that when
      you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone
      around you is crying.

SEVEN STEPS TO SELF-FULFILMENT

Walter Anderson, editor of Parade magazine since 1980, teaches a course in
confidence at New York's New School for Social Research. The heart of
his course consists of these seven steps:
 
1. Know who is responsible. 
Accept personal responsibility for your behavior.
 
2. Believe in something big. 
Your life is worth a noble motive.
 
3. Practice tolerance.
You will like yourself a lot more, and so will others.
 
4. Be brave. 
Courage is acting with fear, not without it.
 
5. Love someone. 
Because you should know joy.
 
6. Be ambitious. 
To want to be more than you are is normal and healthy.
 
7. Smile. 
Because no one else can smile for you.
 
Anderson says each of these steps involves making a choice -  a choice toward more happiness, confidence and self- fulfillment.

 
                                                Source: "The Confidence Course" by Walter Anderson (adapted)
 
LIFE IS A BICYCLE

Functionally, a person is somewhat like a bicycle, Dr. Maxwell Maltz tells us. "A bicycle maintains its poise and equilibrium only so long as it is going forward towards something," he writes.
 
According to Maltz, we are engineered as goal-seeking mechanisms. We are built to solve problems and achieve goals. Only by overcoming obstacles do we find real satisfaction or happiness in life.
 
Decide what you want. Get yourself a goal worth striving towards. Always have something ahead of you to work for and to hope for. See it, want it, long for it. Develop nostalgia for the future, rather than the past
. [Source: "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz, M.D]

  MAE      

  I have a new delightful friend,
  I'm almost in awe of her;
  When we first met I was impressed,
  By her bizarre behavior.

 That day I had a date with friends,
 We met to have some lunch;
 Mae had come along with them,
 All in all ... a pleasant bunch.

 When the menus were presented,
 We ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups;
 Except for Mae who circumvented,
 And said, "Ice-cream, please.  Two scoops."

  I was not sure my ears heard right,
  And the others were aghast;
  "Along with heated apple pie,"
  Mae smiled, completely unabashed.

  We tried to act quite nonchalant,
  As if people did this all the time;
  But when our orders were brought out,
  I did not enjoy mine.

  I could not take my eyes off Mae,
  As her pie ala-mode went down;
  The other ladies showed dismay,
  They ate their lunches, and they frowned.

  Well, the next time I went out to eat,
  I called and invited Mae;
  My lunch contained white tuna meat,
  She ordered a parfait.

  I smiled when her dish I viewed,
  She asked if she amused me;
  I answered, "Yes, you do,
  And you also do confuse me."

  "How come you order rich desserts
  When I feel I must be sensible?"
  She laughed and said, with wanton mirth,
  "I am tasting all that's possible."

  "I try to eat the food I need,
  And do the things I should;
  But life's so short, my friend, indeed,
  I hate missing out on something good."

  "This year I realized I was old,"
  She grinned, "I've not been this old before;
  So, before I die, I've got to try,
  Those things for years I have ignored.

 "I've not smelled all the flowers yet,
  And too many books I have not read;
  There's more fudge sundaes to woof down,
  And kites to be flown overhead."

  "There's many malls I have not shopped,
  I've not laughed at all the jokes;
  I've missed a lot of Broadway Hits,
  And potato chips and cokes."

  "I want to wade again in water,
  And feel ocean spray upon my face;
  Sit in a country church once more,
  And thank God for His grace."

  "I want peanut butter every day,
 Spread on my morning toast;
  I want un-timed long-distance calls,
 To the folks I love the most."

  "I've not cried at all the movies yet,
  Nor walked in the morning rain;
  I need to feel wind in my hair,
 I want to fall in love again."

  "So, if I choose to have dessert,
  Instead of having dinner;
  If I should die before nightfall,
  You'd have to say I died a winner."

  "That I missed out on nothing,
  That I had my heart's desire;
  That I had that final chocolate mousse,
  Before my life expired."

  With that, I called the waitress over,
  "I've changed my mind, it seems;"
  I said, "I want what she is having,
 Only add some more whipped-cream!"



LIMING    

Liming is the Caribbean art of "doing nothing, guilt-free."
Simply sit back, relax and let your mind do whatever it
wants for a few minutes. You might find yourself enjoying a
sunny day on a warm beach or humming your favorite tune.
Liming gives your mind a much-needed break, which can boost
memory and reduce stress.

If you find liming difficult at first, remember that your
ultimate goal is to step away from your everyday activities
and allow your senses, mind and emotions to rest.

In the words of the Chinese sage Lao Tzu, "Practice
'not-doing,' and everything will fall into place."

Source: "The Power of Five" by Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D.and Robert K. Cooper, Ph.D. (adapted)

BEGIN IT NOW     

The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence
moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would
never otherwise have occurred.
 
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising
in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings,
and material assistance that no man could have dreamed would
have come his way.
 
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has
genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.               --Goethe

 
 

Author's Name: Dr. Dipak R. Sarbadhikari
Contact address:
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URL of pagewww.sarbadhikari.com/art.htm
Updated: 08 Aug 2010

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